The Etiquette of Getting Engaged: A Guide to Popping the Question and Celebrating the Moment

Getting engaged is one of life’s most exciting and memorable milestones. Whether you’re planning a grand proposal or an intimate moment, understanding the etiquette of getting engaged can help ensure that everything goes smoothly and that your engagement is celebrated in the best possible way. In this blog post, we’ll explore the key aspects of engagement etiquette, from choosing the ring to sharing the big news.

1. Choosing the Perfect Ring

The engagement ring is a significant symbol of your commitment, so selecting the right one is crucial. While tradition often suggests that the proposer chooses the ring, modern couples sometimes make this decision together.

• Consider Your Partner’s Style: Pay attention to their jewelry preferences—do they prefer something classic, vintage, or modern? If you’re unsure, you can subtly ask or involve a close friend or family member for guidance.

• Ring Budget: Etiquette is used to dictate that you spend two to three months’ salary on an engagement ring. However, today’s couples prioritize what’s realistic and meaningful over adhering to strict budget rules. Focus on choosing a ring that fits your financial situation and has personal significance.

• Custom or Pre-Designed?: If you choose to surprise your partner, consider their tastes and preferences. Some couples also opt for a placeholder ring, allowing them to choose the final ring together after the proposal.

2. Asking for Parental Blessing

While this tradition isn’t as common as it once was, asking for a blessing from your partner’s parents can be a meaningful gesture that honors their family’s customs and traditions.

• When to Ask: If you decide to ask for their blessing, do so before the proposal, but not too far in advance. Timing is key—ideally, within a month or so of when you plan to propose.

• How to Ask: Approach the conversation with respect and sincerity. Express your love and commitment to your partner and your intentions to marry them. Remember, this is about seeking their support, not their permission.

3. Planning the Proposal

The proposal is a deeply personal moment, and how you choose to do it should reflect your relationship.

• Consider Your Partner’s Preferences: Would they love a public proposal or prefer something private and intimate? Tailoring the proposal to their personality is the ultimate act of love.

• Be Thoughtful and Creative: While elaborate proposals are popular, simplicity can be equally meaningful. Whether it’s a surprise picnic at a favorite park or a quiet moment at home, what matters most is that it’s genuine and from the heart.

• Capture the Moment: If you think your partner would appreciate it, consider hiring a photographer or videographer to capture the proposal. Just be sure to keep the focus on the moment rather than on the spectacle.

4. Announcing the Engagement

Once the proposal has been accepted, it’s time to share the happy news! However, there’s an etiquette to follow when making the announcement.

• Tell Close Family and Friends First: Before you share the news on social media, it’s important to tell close family members and friends in person or via phone. This personal touch shows respect and consideration for those closest to you.

• Social Media Announcements: After informing loved ones, feel free to announce your engagement on social media. A photo of the ring, a picture of the happy couple, or a creative post that reflects your relationship are all great ways to share your joy.

• Engagement Party: Some couples choose to celebrate with an engagement party. If you decide to host one, it’s usually held within a few months of the engagement. Keep in mind that an engagement party is more casual than a wedding, so there’s no need for formal invitations or a gift registry.

5. Setting a Date (or Not!)

One of the first questions people will ask after you get engaged is, “When’s the wedding?” It’s perfectly okay if you don’t have an answer right away.

• Take Your Time: There’s no rush to set a wedding date immediately. Take time to enjoy your engagement before diving into wedding planning.

• Discuss Expectations: While you may want to savor this time, it’s important to discuss any expectations or timelines with your partner. Are you both on the same page about how long you’d like the engagement to last?

• Announcing the Date: Once you’ve set a date, you can announce it to family and friends. Save-the-dates are typically sent out six to eight months before the wedding, giving guests ample time to plan.

6. Engagement Gifts and Thank You’s

After you announce your engagement, you may receive congratulatory gifts from friends and family. Here’s how to handle them with grace:

• Sending Thank-You Notes: It’s important to send thank-you notes for any engagement gifts you receive. Aim to send them within two to three weeks of receiving the gift. A handwritten note is a thoughtful way to express your appreciation.

• Gift Expectations: While it’s a lovely gesture, engagement gifts are not expected, so don’t be surprised if some friends or family members choose not to give one. The focus should be on celebrating the engagement, not on the gifts.

7. Navigating Family Dynamics

Engagements often bring families closer together, but they can also highlight differences in expectations or traditions. It’s important to navigate these dynamics with sensitivity and care.

• Involve Both Families: Try to include both families in the planning process, even if it’s just in small ways. This helps foster a sense of unity and mutual respect.

• Address Conflicts Early: If disagreements arise, address them early and respectfully. Remember, this is your wedding, but it’s also a significant event for your families.

• Stay United as a Couple: Throughout the engagement, maintain open communication with your partner. Stay united in your decisions, and support each other through any challenges that may arise.

8. Enjoy the Moment

Finally, the most important aspect of engagement etiquette is to enjoy the moment. This is a special time in your life, so take the time to savor it.

• Create Lasting Memories: Whether it’s planning your future together, celebrating with loved ones, or simply enjoying the excitement of being engaged, focus on creating memories that you’ll cherish for a lifetime.

• Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: Wedding planning can be stressful, but don’t let it overshadow the joy of your engagement. Focus on what truly matters—your love for each other and the life you’re building together.

Conclusion: Celebrating Your Engagement with Grace and Joy

Getting engaged is a wonderful milestone, filled with love, excitement, and a touch of tradition. By following these etiquette tips, you can navigate your engagement with grace and joy, ensuring that this special time is celebrated in the best possible way.

At MiaDonna, we’re here to help you every step of the way, from choosing the perfect engagement ring to celebrating the big day. Congratulations on your engagement—may your journey to the altar be as beautiful as your love story!